lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
