you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize