After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
