Your face is a jimmy john
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
