hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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