where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
