I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
