Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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