Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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