That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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