I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
