oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
