I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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