Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
