Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
