One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
