This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
