Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize