So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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