Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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