nutella sex= disaster
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
