just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
