Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
