Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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