Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
