Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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