I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
