Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
