Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come share oat with me in your robe
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
