You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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