What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
