it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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