I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
