And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
