I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
