If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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