I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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