Pants 0. Shit 1.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So much Jack, so little girl.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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