laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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