party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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