Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
