I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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