Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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