he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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