Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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