I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
