it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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