this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
