I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
