p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
