Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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