Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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