how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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