At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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