I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
not ubering you a puppy
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