We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
