someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
