Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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