The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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