The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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