The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
