he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have aggressive nipples.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize