Only a mothe r could love this liver
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
