so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize