If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
