It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
