upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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