Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize