Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
A bitchslap is in order.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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