hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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