Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize