Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
