Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
